Did we really think that we can wait out the problems in our relationships, rather than face them?
Many times after we have a major blow-up or arguments with our loved ones, we convince ourselves that we should just let things lay where they are. We have a fear that if we bring it up again we are “beating a dead horse”… Yet over time, we can become haunted by all the ghosts of our unresolved issues.
Is it the society pressure to present ourselves as a “happy and healthy” couple, or inner anxiety that if we push too hard we might lose the people we so closely hold within our hearts?
The truth is that if we are continuously intertwined in heated exchanges with no resolution, this is our call to duty. It doesn’t mean this relationship is doomed. Yet it is a sign that we must be courageous and take brave action.
If a bedroom window cracks within our home, it doesn’t mean we must vacate, but we sure as hell need to do serious repairs before winter comes. Often we are too close to the whole situation to see it clearly. We want answers, but yet we have already made our own decisions on who is “correct”… Unsurprisingly, it is usually you- right?
The importance of having an unbiased individual to sit with our relationship is still a vastly underutilized tool in our modern society.
Shame blocks us.
Even when we start to think about seeking some help, scarcity of time will convince us to put it on the back burner, and after a couple good weeks or months- we may abandon our plan all together. Then, the crack in the window gets even bigger the next time the wind howls.
If you keep finding yourself stuck in a pattern of turmoil without resolution, surrender. Surrender to receiving support for your most dear relationships. That you need an outsider’s perspective. It doesn’t mean either person is weak, or that the love is not there. On the contrary. There is such gorgeous strength in surrendering that you don’t have all the answers. None of us do. And when we really love, we protect. More times than not, real protection involves enlisting others. When it comes to matters of the heart and mind conjunction, there is no greater guardian than a therapist that can see outside our own limited lenses.
So if you have taken some inventory while reading this blog, please know that you are in good hands by reaching out for support for your relationship, whether you’re working on it as a couple, or coming in for some personal therapy support to untangle some complex situations in your primary or even other relationships that mean so much to you in your life.
We are social beings who need each other…and we need to be able to gently and lovingly confront, address and resolve these cracks in the window that need repair. Repair is possible and we want to help you feel ready to weather those storms.
Book a consult today to see if one of our therapists would be a good fit for you.
