*Trigger Warning*: childhood abuse
I want to thank Emily, from Sage Holistic Health and Wellness, for allowing me the opportunity to share my story. I have always enjoyed writing. When going through the healing process from the abuse I endured as a child, there were so many emotions that were pent up, writing my story allowed me to maneuver my way through those. It was a release and yet it was scary. It’s always scary to be vulnerable but I did so in hopes that it might help someone out there who was struggling.
Abuse makes you feel unworthy, unloved, and above all, alone. My abuser took so much from me. To think about everything I had lost because of him, the loss of what could have been, was almost too much. It was too much to grieve. And yet, I had to.
There was a day that I decided to take my power back. I wasn’t going to allow my abuser to take anything more from me. Instead of shrinking down in fear and shame as he had taught me, I decided to stand up and speak up. He had silenced me for 33 years and I wasn’t going to sit back and let him silence me any longer. I wanted him to know what I knew, to hear my words, and to know that I had never forgotten. I wanted him to see that he didn’t control me any longer and to combat his abuse with truth and goodness.
That is why I wrote my book. That is why I shared my story.
The book is a story of redemption, of hope. There’s someone out there right now that has lost all hope, someone who is teetering on the edge of despair and dealing with the detrimental consequences of being in that state of mind. That person was me. It was me many times over. It will be me at times for the rest of my life. Healing isn’t ever finished. It is something we, as survivors of abuse, will battle our entire lives.
To that person right now, who feels that they can’t cope, can’t go on, that is in the midst of darkness and despair, HOLD ON. You are worthy. There is hope. You are believed. You are not your abuse. Your life has meaning. Fight! Learn the ways that you can directly combat the darkness imposed on you with goodness and light.
That can come in so many forms.
It can come in just getting up.
It can come in self-care.
It can come in giving back to others.
It can come in loving yourself, others, making small and large changes.
It can come in making different life choices.
It can come in doing things differently, change your lifestyle, amplify the good in your life, seek help, surround yourself with those that bring out your best, help and lift others.
Live to fight another day. That’s what healing is. It’s going on when you feel like you can’t. It’s taking another step. It’s crawling, scraping along until you can stand up and run again. It’s choosing to see the light when you’re surrounded by the dark, the trauma. It’s taking your power back.
I believe in you because I’ve been there.
So rise up, fight, and show the world how truly strong you are.
There is hope. There is good to come.
All my love,